Ill Equipped
by EllieMJayx
Summary: Loki's magic creates a fiasco, turning himself and The Avengers into babies. Maria is not happy, Phil is secretly thrilled, And the Avengers tots cause mayhem. It seems Maria is in for one heck of a headache. Until a tiny super soldier, with big blue eyes, starts to worm his way into her heart. Eventual Steve/Maria. My first story. Reviews Welcome.
1. The Decision's Final

**Agent Maria Hill could handle anything. Aliens, fire fights, Director Fury, Stark's ill-mannered quips. All with a quick thinking head and a stony expression. Anything that was, except for a screaming child, or seven for that matter.**

"Please Sir!" She almost yelled in frustration. Fury just stared her down, though he was secretly surprised and amused to see his effective second in command, almost beg something of him.

The newly resurrected Agent Phil Coulson wasn't quite as good at hiding his slight enjoyment of the situation, failing to bite back a humoured smirk at the young woman.

"The decision is final Agent Hill." Fury told her, "Whilst I acknowledge that you are not in this job to perform babysitting duties, this series of events has left me with no choice but to turn to my two greatest allies."

Had Maria been in a better mood, she may have even cracked a smile at that last comment, but as it was she instead, simply muttered a series of curse words under her breath, mainly towards the war-criminal Loki, whose intrusive misadventures on Earth had this time resulted in himself and the team regarded as 'The Earth's Mightiest Heroes' to currently be viciously attacking the walls outside of the Director's office, with brightly coloured crayons.

"But Sir…" She began again, only to be interrupted shortly after.

"Final decision." He repeated, glancing over at Phil, and then nodding towards the door. He left without complaint, at set about prising the rowdy youngsters away from the wall.

Maria lingered for a few moments, locked in a deadly staring contest with her Superior, hoping to get him to change his mind. No such luck. She eventually gave up and left, grudgingly of course, her voice ready to call Fury every name under the sun as soon as she was out of earshot; she got some satisfaction in slamming the door behind her too.

Loki and Steve looked up at her in shock, their eyes strangely innocent in their new found, miniature forms. She scowled at them, fixing her glare mainly on the Asgardian who, she reminded herself again, was responsible for this whole mess.

_"Loki?" She'd asked just a few hours earlier, talking to Natasha through the radio._

_"Loki." The other woman had confirmed. Maria paused expecting to hear gunshots and yelling and general chaos, though there was nothing._

_"Romanoff?" she inquired, after pondering the silence for a few seconds. _

_"He's alone." Natasha hissed, "Armed, but alone."_

_"Just like the first time." She heard Clint mutter in the background._

_Tony then made some snide remark to Thor about the security of Asgardian prisons; this was after all, his seventh return to Earth since the Battle for New York._

_Maria considered turning off her communication with them then, stopping the Avengers from bickering had never been in her job description. She reached for her coffee, catching Coulson's gaze. She figured he must have taken pity on her, as he switched the coms over to him. She nodded courtly in his direction and busied herself with paperwork; until she heard Coulson's noises of panic across the room._

_"Something's happened!" He yelled at her, causing her to blink at his vagueness, before ordering him to the landing deck, requesting and receiving Fury's permission en route._

_They both knew all too well, that they could be flying into the line of fire. Loki's fire. Phil had been here before, Maria questioned if the Avengers were worth it, to her it seemed that sometimes the so called heroes seemed to attract trouble rather than deter it, though she did not voice her opinions out loud, not at that moment; she would save her protests for later._

_They tracked the team down to a street a few blocks away from Stark Tower, though not the team they sent off an hour or so before. This team were much smaller, pintsized versions of each of the Avengers, lying asleep or unconscious on the sidewalk, a tiny adversary amongst them, a miniature Loki. _

_"Is this some sort of sick Joke?" Maria asked, storming past the children. "Dammit Stark this isn't funny!" _

_Her anguished yells must have done something to jolt life into the small hoard of children. They awoke one by one, and stared at each other, deep confusion knitted into their brows, they looked to Maria's meeting her irritated glare, and spontaneously burst into tears and loud wails._

"And they're definitely them?" Maria asked for the umpteenth time into her mobile. She must have got an affirmative response as she pursed her lips, gave a quick 'thanks' and then hung up, slumping slightly in the passenger seat.

They were on their way to Stark Tower, she still hated the situation and the new responsibility that had been dumped on her, though she was thankful that Phil had convinced Fury that contacting Miss Potts would be a good idea, if only to inform her of her boyfriend's unfortunate transformation. She was out of town at a conference though she did insist on them using Stark Tower to house the youngsters until she returned. Something about having little kids cooped up in a SHIELD base must have frightened her. Privately Maria had to agree with her, SHIELD wasn't even safe for adults, that much was explained in the job description, so young children, even superhero and assassin children were risky to have around, maybe even more so than normal children actually.

SHIELD were pretty ill-equipped for some things actually, and she had a feeling she was going to be too.


	2. Comical Pyjamas

Phil was certain he'd heard Maria growl, as they pulled up outside Stark Tower. He glanced at her and she slumped down in her seat, he sighed slightly, right now she was behaving like a moody teenager, with a serious attitude problem, something he could do without right now.

Leaving her in the passenger seat, he got out of the car and went round to get the kids out; an effort in itself.

Steve was no trouble at all, already the angel boy of the group. He looked the part too, big blue eyes and a halo of blond hair. He jumped into Phil's arms, and was gently placed on the ground with a small pat on the shoulder.

Natasha and Clint were the next easiest, though it took a while to get them to get their attention at first. Clint was busy plaiting his partner's fiery red locks, she was giggling and singing to herself in Russian. He got them onto the ground soon enough though.

The other four were difficult. Thor wasn't so tricky to get out in theory, but he was certainly difficult to hold, even as a youngster Thor was all muscle. Of course Tony was a natural troublemaker, and had somehow influenced Bruce severely in a mere few hours, they both refused to come out until Phil bribed them with lollipops, (he didn't actually have any, but sometimes you have to play a little underhand to get what you want). Loki was by far the trickiest to get out; it's not that he made a fuss, no screaming or shouting, just silence and a rather timid expression, and certainly no budging from his seat. It had taken them long enough to get Loki into the car, it was only after Thor had dragged him in that they'd managed it, but even Thor's pleas and words of encouragement did little now.

"Ugh!" Maria huffed in annoyance, as she swung the passenger door open. "Loki, come on little man, the sooner you get out of the car, the sooner we can all have dinner and go to bed." The tiredness was beginning to show on her face.

"Ooh dinner!" Thor shouted, "Will there be pop tarts?"

"Anything you want buddy," Phil replied, he meant it this time too, if it meant getting Loki out of the car.

The young Asgardian paused for a second at his brother's enthusiasm before allowing Phil to pull him out of the car.

Maria, smiled slightly, secretly pleased with herself that she's been the one to prompt Loki's departure of the vehicle. She strolled round to the back of the car and popped the boot, herself and Phil emptying it of various bags; their own plus several filled with clothes and toys for the Avengers. Clothes were a necessity as all of them were still in their uniforms, with the exception of Tony, who was deemed to be unsafe to others in his Iron Man suit. Currently his suit, Loki's sceptre, Mjolnir, Steve's shield, Natasha's guns and Clint's bow and arrows were locked away in a SHIELD vault.

The lift ride up to the 'balcony floor' of Stark tower had been uncomfortable, Loki hadn't liked it one bit, it made his tummy feel weird.

"Please, don't throw up, please don't throw up." Maria had prayed, standing way back against the wall just in case he did. Thankfully he didn't, though Maria fetched him a glass of water as soon as they'd got out into the open. He'd looked at her suspiciously, probably because she'd be scowling earlier. Whatever, she didn't care and dismissed him as she would another agent.

Phil was noticeably more cut out for this than she was, somehow managing to get all seven of them rounded up and into pyjamas, there was no point them changing into anything else. It was dark outside already.

"Don't they look cute?" Phil had commented, once they were all dressed. Maria tutted, although she did sort of agree with him, it was almost comical, they'd found pyjamas that reminded her of their uniforms. Tony's were red edged with gold, Natasha's black edged with red, Clint's black and purple, Steve's blue and red, then Bruce's green and purple, Thor's blue and silver and Loki's green and gold.

"So when do we feast?" Thor asked loudly, as he finished buttoning the pyjama shirt, albeit completely wrong. Phil bent down to fix it; "Soon," he said "I'll get started now. Maria can you watch them for a while."

Maria shrugged and settled herself down in the armchair with the book she'd brought with her. She got through a page when she felt a tug on her shirt sleeve.

"Maria, can you help us build a fort." Clint asked, his piercing grey eyes staring up at her. Maria shook her head, deciding she was much too tired for that tonight. "Maybe tomorrow." She said, only half meaning it.

Natasha sighed. "Well what can we do then? I'm bored."

Maria realized then that both she and Phil had forgotten to get the toys out of the bags. She quickly emptied out all of the Lego, board games, footballs, playdoh, toy soldiers, as well as all of their paper and colouring supplies from earlier. Maria noticed that the toys seemed to be mostly boys toys, which made sense, little Natasha was seriously outnumbered by the boys, though Maria figured she'd probably like playing their games anyway. Natasha didn't strike her as a particularly girly girl. Still it slightly pleased her to find a baby doll at the bottom of the bag. Just a simple stuffed body, with plastic limbs and head, wearing a white baby gro and little white hat. Someone must have acknowledged that there was a young girl in the rowdy bunch of toddlers. It still surprised her though when Natasha slowly slid the doll out of Maria's grasp, studying it carefully from every angle. It must have met her standards as she then hugged it tightly to her chest, and trotted off to play with the boys, the doll going with her. Maria's gaze followed her for a moment before going back to her book.

She couldn't get back into the story properly; she kept glancing at the miniature villain and heroes across the room. Bruce and Tony had started a game of monopoly. "Seems fitting for Stark." She muttered. Clint and Natasha were building a tower out of Lego bricks, though the doll was still lying in the red-head's lap. Thor was… "Thor, please don't eat the playdoh, it's bad for you." Maria said quickly before he could put it his mouth. Thor looked at it confused. "Then what is this brightly coloured, squishy stuff for, Lady Maria?" he asked as she walked over to him.

"You make models with it." She replied with a sigh, he continued to look confused, and so she picked up some of the golden yellow playdoh, rolling into various sized sausage shapes and fitting them together, she then made rolled out some more doh and made oval shapes, sticking them to what was fast becoming some sort of animal. She then made a little black nose and two eyes, then took a piece of red for the tongue. Once all assembled the result was a small figure that resembled a golden retriever. Thor was delighted by it, and immediately set about making some of his own.

She turned her attention to the two boys sat at the dining table. Loki was doing a puzzle, under closer inspection it was one of a black cat, with emerald eyes, 1000 pieces. He looked up at her when he sensed her staring.

"That's a lot of pieces." She said simply.

Loki blinked, and then nodded. "I like the picture though."

Maria smiled slightly "It is a very nice looking cat."

"Cat?" Loki repeated, experimenting with the word on his tongue.

Maria had momentarily forgot that he was not a child of Earth, she gently moved past him and ended up stood behind Steve, who was hunched over, tongue poking out of his mouth, as he concentrated on his drawing.

"Hey." She said, more softly than she had intended to. "What are you working on Cap?"

He didn't question her use of address for him, instead slid the piece of paper towards her.

She was impressed, she'd read once that Rogers was a keen artist, though she'd never expected him to be this good. His sketch was of a motorbike, like the one he so proudly owned.

She couldn't help but to smile slightly, when she caught him nervously chewing his lip.

"That's really good." She whispered, passing it back to him.

"Thank you," He said politely, a slight rosy tint creeping into his cheeks.

Maria reached out to ruffle his hair, and then retracted swiftly.

Loki caught her motion and let his eyes fill with an emotion she couldn't recognize.

She was more than happy when Phil called them to dinner.

**Authors Notes: Thank you to everyone, who has followed and especially to Magic Iris, ShunKickShunKers & Agent-Hamilton123 who have left reviews. 3 **


	3. A Sugar Rush & Shattered Glass

To Thor's great delight, there were indeed pop tarts for dinner, along with mini, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, chips, cookies and ice cream, all washed down with fizzy pop.

Maria raised her eyebrows in disapproval.

"What?" Coulson asked, starting to feel uncomfortable as she glared at him.

"We can't feed them that." Maria said, lowering her voice to whisper and placing her hands on her hips.

"Why not? They love it, look."

Maria did look and true to his word, The Avengers were indeed tucking in happily.

"But's it all salt and sugar." Maria explained.

Phil shrugged "It won't kill them. A one-time occurrence if you insist upon it."

"There's still going to be consequences."

Phil just smiled and sat down to eat.

She was right of course, the overdose of sugar at dinner, ensured hyperactivity afterwards.

Maria had plans to kill whichever agent it was that had put several footballs into the bag of toys; so far they'd broken 2 vases and the glass door of Tony's drinks cupboard. She'd get Jarvis to order a replacement door tomorrow, she had too much of a headache to do anything now.

"Phil can you please help me." Maria said, clearly beaten down by the rampaging four year olds.

"Give me a minute!" Phil called, clearing up the last of the glass from the shattered casualties.

Maria sighed and rested her head against the door, her eyes tightly closed. Steve stopped in front of her, looking slightly worried.

"Maria," he whispered gently, reaching out to touch her hand. "Are you okay?"

Maria's eyes flickered open lazily, coming to focus on the young boy; she forced herself to smile and nodded gently. "Yeah of course, just getting a little tired that's all."

Steve didn't look convinced, hopping awkwardly from one foot to the other as Maria made an effort to perk herself up.

"You could help me though," She suggested, slowly massaging her temples as she spoke. "Could you round the others up for bed, please?"

"I don't think they're tired Maria." He said softly, shrugging his little shoulders.

"We'll stick a film on," Phil called from the kitchen, "They may not go to sleep but it should calm them down a bit."

Maria nodded and began to run through the children's films in Jarvis' vast archive, whilst Steve told the others of the plan for the evening. Surprisingly they all gave in without much fuss, and settled down on the couch as Maria selected The Smurfs. It wouldn't have been her first choice, but a light hearted happy film before bed sounded like a good idea for before the kid's bedtime.

They seemed to be contented with her choice anyway, though Loki seemed to stiffen slightly when Thor remarked that the little blue creatures on the screen seemed to be Tiny Frost Giants, and were they by any chance based on them.

Maria quickly dismissed the idea, remembering that adult Thor had once told them of Loki's true form, and she wasn't too keen to bring any of that up. She made a mental note to never show them Avatar, just in case.

Half way through the film and Maria was struggling to keep her eyes open, it didn't help that her headache had worsened, even though the kids were now quiet, the bright light of the television was doing anything but helping her poor head. Coulson seemed to notice her discontent and leaned over to her.

"Go to bed Maria." He whispered, hoping that she wasn't coming down with anything.

"What about putting the kids to bed?" She replied, rubbing her eyes to try and bring life to them.

"I'll be fine doing it alone, you need sleep, now go."

Maria didn't need telling twice, silently slipping out of the room and into the guestroom that Jarvis had designated as her's.

She eased herself out of her catsuit and tugged on her pyjama shorts and vest top before heading to the bathroom to remove her makeup and brush her teeth, chores that had to be done before she slid under her warm duvet, her pillow deliciously cold in comparison.

She hadn't fully drifted off when she heard the door being pushed slightly ajar. She groaned inwardly, Coulson had said he could handle it. But when she turned on the bedside lamp it wasn't Coulson figure that was stood there.

"What's wrong Steve?" Maria asked, trying to stifle a yawn.

"I just came to say goodnight." Steve whispered delicately. "It's my bedtime now too."

Maria smiled slightly, despite her tiredness "Well goodnight Steve, sweet dreams." She reached out sleepily and ruffled his hair, then watched him back out of the room.

'Nice boy…' She thought as she settled down to sleep.

**Shortish update tonight. THANK YOU again for all the lovely reviews, you're all so sweet!**


	4. Early Start

Maria woke up just before 6am; surprisingly late for her, usually her hectic career with SHIELD often meant 5am starts, or earlier. Staying awake for days on end was not uncommon either.

Swinging her legs out of bed, she yawned and stretched, then pulled her feet into the soft fluffy socks that she'd left by her bed the night before and padded out towards the kitchen for a glass of water, getting part way there before deciding that she had better check in on the children on the way; she wasn't sure why Tony had a room designed as a dormitory, she could only presume it was used by the guests of Stark's lavish parties after they'd had a little too much to drink.

The scene that greeted her, she had to admit, was rather adorable, a room full of tiny sleeping superheroes and their great adversary. If not cute, it was certainly obscure.

Tony lay on the bed furthest away from the door, lying flat on his back, arms and legs sprawled outwards, snoring peacefully. The next bed along contained Bruce, his glasses folded up neatly and placed on the bedside table. Across from them was Loki's bed, which lay empty. Somehow he'd managed to clamber into bed with his Brother, which can't have been an easy task as Thor slept much like Tony, taking up vast amounts of room whilst drooling onto the pillow. Loki was curled up into a tight ball by his Brother's side, though her may not like living in Thor's shadow, he certainly didn't seem to have a problem with sleeping in it. Natasha and Clint were next to them, they too were sharing a bed. Clint had one of his arms over her almost protectively, his head buried amongst her scarlet curls. Finally, in the bed nearest to her, Steve was curled up, the covers reaching his chin, but his eyes were wide open, glinting in the small light of the room.

Maria giggled slightly, bending down to the small boy. He quickly pulled the covers over his head, almost scared.

"Hey, hey," Maria cooed, "I'm not mad; you can get up if you want."

Steve slid the duvet down slowly, looking at her curiously, before slowly easing himself out of bed. She took his hand gently, tensing slightly at the motion that was so completely unlike her. He smiled up at her and let her lead him out of the room, closing the door to, behind them.

She led him to the kitchen, setting him down on the countertop and fetching them both a glass of water.

"Did you sleep well?" Maria asked, after a short slightly awkward silence.

Steve took a sip of water and nodded affirmatively. "Are you feeling better?" he asked, running a hand through his blond hair that was currently sticking up at various, interesting angles.

"Yes, thank you." Maria said softly, before another pause set in. She drummed her fingers against her glass. "Do you fancy helping me make breakfast?" She asked suddenly, the thought just allowing her to break the silence.

Steve glanced up, looking slightly excited at the prospect. "Okay!"

**Short update tonight, thank you so much for all of the lovely reviews. I'm sending little Steve round with cookies.**


	5. Bananas for Breakfast

"How does porridge sound?" Maria questioned, head in the cupboard as she located the oats. Steve nodded, uncertainly.

"Is it nice?" He asked, all bright eyed and bushy tailed as she placed a wooden spoon in his hand.

"Mmm," She nodded, sticking her head in the fridge in search of milk. "It's a warm and healthy breakfast. I think you'll like it."

Steve watched her intently as she placed all of the ingredients on the counter. "How long will it take?"

"Not long, so we're going to make a fruit salad too okay?"

Steve nodded, Maria handing several tangerines.

"Can you peel and separate them whilst I slice up these apples?"

"Yes ma'am," he said with a little salute, digging his thumb into the orange fruit.

They worked in an easy silence, Maria slicing up the apples, then strawberries, mangoes and kiwis. Steve finished the tangerines and set about distributing the blueberries evenly between the nine bowls set out for them, there were a few left over which he snacked on when he thought Maria wasn't looking.

"Maria, can I please cut some fruit?" He asked politely, wiping blueberry juice from around his mouth.

Maria chewed at her lip, whilst she could easily say that Steve was the most responsible of all of them, she wasn't sure about letting him near a sharp knife.

"Please, I'll promise I'll be careful."

Maria smiled an idea coming to her. She fetched the bananas from their rack and rooted around in the drawer for the butter knife. To her relief Steve didn't seem to notice the bluntness of the blade and set about peeling and slicing up the fruit, taking the odd piece here and there.

"Hey, leave some for the rest of us little Captain!"

Steve looked at her apologetically, causing her to smile then steal a piece of banana right in front of his eyes.

"But you…" Steve began.

Maria raised her eyebrows, the smile on her lips working its way up to her eyes.

Steve giggled, and started to separate the fruit into the bowls, until the sound of yelling almost caused him to drop everything on the floor.

"What the hell was that?!" Maria asked, picking her small helper up off the counter and placing him gently onto the ground and heading off towards the kid's room.

Phil was already at the door when they got there, looking rather amused at the chaos that was unfolding before him.

Clint was on top of the wardrobe, throwing rolled up socks down onto his friends below. Thor had tackled Tony to the ground as Bruce hid under his bed, seeming rather scared. Natasha was turning somersaults on her own bed, dodging the shower of socks that Clint was aiming at her. Loki was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's the God of Mischief?" Maria asked curiously, her hand slipping into Steve's as he stared at his teammates in disbelief.

Phil shrugged. "I'll sort this lot, you find Loki."

Maria nodded and stalked off, Steve in tow.

They checked the kitchen, the bathrooms, dining room and the gym before they found him; sat on the sofa, staring blankly ahead.

"Loki?" Steve asked taking a step towards the small figure, he didn't budge.

"Loki," Maria tapped him on the shoulder, causing his head to shoot round to face them.

"What are you up to?" Maria asked as Loki stared at her. He unhooked a small device from his ear and Maria realised he'd stumbled across her iPod. She must have left it on the coffee table the day before.

"How do you get such music into such a small box?" Loki asked, holding up the device to her.

Maria shrugged. "A little thing called iTunes." Loki stared at her blankly, as expected. "I'll show you later if you like."

Loki nodded.

"What are you listening to?" Steve asked. His adult form had been given an iPod by Tony, and after a few weeks of teaching he'd mostly worked out what to do with it.

Loki read the screen. "Fi-re-work. Kat-y Per-ry."

Maria blushed, it probably wasn't the sort of thing that her fellow agents would expect to find on her iPod. But then again they probably thought she just listened to recordings of mission logs or Fury's orders or something, such was her reputation.

"Do you like it?" Steve asked, hauling himself up onto the sofa to play with the screen.

Loki thought for a second and nodded. "It's nothing like Asgardian music, but it is rather nice. I'd like to hear some more of your Midgardian music, please."

Maria smiled slightly "Okay, but not right now, we need breakfast first."

Loki bobbed his head once in understanding then slid himself off of the sofa in preparation for the others, who were heading their way.

"I better get back to the kitchen then." Maria muttered as the hoard of children burst into the room, complaining of hunger after their early morning escapades. "No rest for the wicked."

**Massive thank you again to everyone who dropped me a review! Help yourself to a fruit salad. I apologize if all the banana is gone, Steve likes bananas. x**


	6. Little White Lie

The kids had enjoyed the porridge and fruit for breakfast. It had taken Maria and Phil a while to get them all seated at the dining table, as hungry as the kids were they'd all joined in with Tony's vote to have breakfast in front of the TV. Phil was more than willing to let them but Maria made it clear that she wasn't cleaning up after them, and so breakfast at the table it was.

After breakfast, Steve, Clint and Natasha helped the adults to clear up. Loki had lingered for a second, as if he might help too, but it seemed at the moment the young, dark-haired God was only comfortable either on his own or by his Brother's side, so they weren't too surprised when he disappeared back into the living room.

"What are we doing today Phil?" Clint asked as him and Natasha dumped the spoons into the dish-washer.

Phil shrugged, the truth was Fury had given them order to keep the group indoors and out of trouble; the first task would be hard enough, and so he could probably count out the second altogether.

"Probably just do some stuff inside today" he said, ruffling the young boy's hair. "I've got a bit of a headache, so I don't feel like heading out today."

He was lying through his back teeth with the latter part of his answer, he didn't have a headache at all, he just felt the need to justify not going out, and so the worry plastered across Clint's face tugged at his heartstrings.

"You should go back to bed if you're not feeling well." Natasha announced, jumping into the conversation. "Me and Clint will look after you."

Maria bit back a smile in the background; even in their child form the two assassins were fiercely protective of their handler.

Phil shook his head fondly "I'll be fine kiddos, just promise not to make too much noise today." He winked at Maria, knowing that she'd approve this move completely.

Clint and Natasha nodded. Steve did too, though he'd most likely have been conscious of the need to keep the noise level to a minimum anyway. Really it was the others that would be the issue.

The scene witnessed, the moment they stepped into the living room was more than proof of this.

Thor and Tony were throwing cushions at each other, yelling as if they were on the charge into battle. Bruce was trying his hardest to give Tony some back up, though Thor's aim was strong. Only when Bruce was in Hulk form, did these two seem evenly matched. Loki was providing Thor's back-up, though sneakily. He'd crept round to where Stark was stood and pulled the rug from under him.

"Hey!" Yelled Tony; pushing himself to his feet after face planting the carpet and charging at Loki.

"Oi, stop it now!" Phil said, intercepting the youngster and lifting him into his arms, Maria doing the same to Loki.

"But he started it!" Tony protested, wrestling in Phil's grasp.

"I don't care who started it," Maria said, "We're finishing it."

Loki whimpered slightly and buried his head into Maria's tank top; mumbling his apologies into her chest.

Tony crossed his arms over his chest, sulking until he caught Phil's stern look. "Sorry." He muttered.

"Good, now time to get dressed and then we'll sort out some games for you to play."

The kids groaned inwardly at the thought of getting out of their pyjamas, but if Phil and Maria were going through with this task of bringing up the Avengers, then you could be sure that they were going to raise them under their rules.

**Thanks again to anyone whose reviewed, followed or favourited. Sorry for such a short update, it's been a hectic week. I hope to write more soon; I'll send the mini Avengers and Loki round with 'Thank You' notes. Kind regards, Nell. **


	7. Hair Pulling

"Maria! Tony pulled my hair!" Natasha whined, tugging on the woman's hand.

"Did not!" The young genius huffed, yanking his T-shirt over his head.

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Hey, hey, stop it guys." Phil said as he helped Bruce with his sweater.

"He started it!" Natasha grumbled, letting her red curls flop over her eyes.

Maria smiled and sat down on the young girl's bed, beckoning her to come closer. "Tasha would you like your hair plaited?"

The little girl hesitated then nodded decidedly, sliding onto Maria's lap.

"Why do girls like having their hair played with so much?" Clint wondered out loud, as Maria set her fingers to work in Natasha's fiery locks.

"Thor likes having his hair played with." Loki mumbled, playing with a loose thread on his jumper. Thor blushed furiously, his face turning a similar colour to Natasha's hair.

Tony opened his mouth to inject a witty comment but closed it as soon as Phil shot him a warning glance.

"Play nice," Phil said, managing to sound both gentle and stern all at the same time.

"Can we go and play now?" Bruce asked politely, pushing his glasses into place with his finger.

"Yeah, I don't wanna wait for Natasha to get her hair done!" Tony complained, looking accusingly at the young girl, who simply poked her tongue out in response.

"Sure," Phil said smiling slightly, "Maria you'll be ok right?" She nodded, and watched as the boys exited the room, with the exception of Clint, who hung back, patiently waiting for his partner. Maria smiled to herself, slightly in awe of how strong their relationship was. Whilst they could still be totally independent, they worked best as a team and if they had the choice would probably work together on most occasions.

"You have such lovely hair, Natasha." Maria whispered as she completed the first plait, she wished she had some ribbons; she could just imagine the look of little bows in the assassin's hair. It would really make for fantastic blackmail material once they returned to adult size.

Natasha smiled, giving a tiny 'thank you' in response. She was extraordinarily shy in comparison to her adult self, though she was still more than capable of holding her own against the boys.

She finished off the second plait and set the young red-head down in front of a mirror to inspect her new look, which thankfully earned a smile as a seal of approval.

"Let's go see what the little monsters have gotten up to then," Maria said, noticing that Clint was now eager to re-join his friends.

**Tiny update as this materialised whilst being a great procrastinator and avoiding my total bitch of an English essay. Hopefully I'll find the time to write more soon. Thank you all for your patience. Kind regards, Nell. x**


	8. Tiny Culprits

"You do know your cleaning this up Coulson." Maria hissed, the displeasure evident in her voice.

Phil nodded solemnly, he had to admit things had got a little out of hand, but the paints had kept them occupied at least. The last thing anyone wanted was a team of bored kid-superheroes.

"Oh God, they've got it up the walls and everything!"

He grabbed her shoulders and shook her gently. "Agent Hill, calm down!" She stared at him, her blue eyes questioning. "Look, I'll clean up here and you get the team sorted, get them rounded up and dump their clothes into the wash. I'll help you scrub them down as soon as I'm done here."

Maria sighed and ran a hand through her dark hair before nodding, no matter how cute the Avengers appeared in their child form, it seemed they were still more than capable of causing chaos and destruction.

She wandered out into the foyer, her eyes darting to every corner, looking for the tiny culprits; they'd scattered a few minutes ago, thinking it safer to run and hide from her icy glare than to face her, she rather liked the power she had over them, especially Stark.

She found Steve first, for a soldier he hadn't quite mastered the art of camouflage.

"I'm really sorry, Maria." He said, almost pleading with her, it was fairly comical actually.

"It's fine." She smiled, maybe half lying in her response; her expression from earlier would have told anyone that it's most definitely was not fine. Still Steve had a habit of bringing out whatever compassion there was in her.

Thor gave himself up soon after, unintentionally of course, but his sneezes gave small earthquakes a run for their money.

The others were proving difficult, Maria made a mental note to never play hide and seek with them as it would probably last for days. Steve and Thor helped her to search but they appeared to be as clueless as she was. Tony had the home advantage and she figured Bruce would follow his lead; Clint and Natasha were masters at concealing themselves so any chance of locating them was small and then Loki, well, he was the god of mischief, he was probably used to hiding after one of his little tricks had run its course.

"Ugh, this is hopeless!" Maria whined, leaning against the doorframe. "Please come out guys, I'm not mad, I promise."

There was no movement at all.

"Still no luck?" Phil asked, strolling out of the living room with all of the cleaning supplies he'd been using, he plonked them down onto the kitchen countertop.

Maria shook her head and groaned, sliding herself onto one of the breakfast stools. Steve and Thor followed her cautiously.

"What if…" Phil began before being interrupted by Jarvis.

"Sir, I must inform you that Miss Potts is on her way up."

"Whoo Pepper!" Tony yelled, the young boy seemingly appearing from nowhere and running over to the elevator, waiting for his adult girlfriend with great anticipation.

Bruce followed quickly, glancing apologetically at Phil and Maria as he went over to the elevator door.

Maria waited with baited breath as the doors slid open, Pepper was aware of the situation, but there was a difference between knowing something and seeing it for yourself.

The doors slid open and Tony's tiny figure flung himself at the slightly dazed strawberry-blonde with a satisfying oomph. She wrapped her arms round him almost instinctively but the expression on her face was most definitely one of shock.

It was Phil who shook her back to reality, his calm voice breaking past the confusion. "Pepper, how are you."

She managed a weak smile, the colour just starting to flush back into her face. "Not too bad." She paused and waved at three other boys that he congregated around her, Thor practically tuck her out with an over eager hug, thankfully Bruce and Steve seemed a little shy.

"Where are the others?" Pepper asked.

Maria bit her lip. "Hiding…"

"Not for long they won't be," Phil interjected "Clinton Barton and Natasha Romanoff would you get your butts in here, right now!"

There was a five second wait then the two mini assassins crept into the kitchen, splattered with paint, tails between their legs.

Their handler smirked slightly at Maria, who crossed her arms over her chest. "We still don't know where Loki is though."

Phil called for him, then all of the kids did, but to no avail.

Maria sighed, "Tell you what, you and Pepper can start to get the kids cleaned up; I'll search for the oh mighty god of mischief, deal?"

There was something about the young woman's tone that gave Phil and Pepper very little choice in the matter.

Pepper kept Tony settled in her arms, knowing that, with the head troublemaker restrained the others would surely follow suit. She was a crafty one, Pepper, and to be honest Maria had respect for anyone who could keep Stark under control.

The group headed out into the large hallway, Maria splitting from them outside their bedroom door in order to begin her hunt for the tiny trickster God. Steve's gaze followed her for a second or two before he allowed a newly free Tony to pull him into the room.

Surprisingly, she located Loki very quickly. He was huddled under her bed, most of his features lost in the dark shadows cast, yet his large emerald orbs gave him away, catching what little light there was in the room.

"Loki, are you going to come out of there?" Maria asked, kneeling down to peer fully under the bed. He refused to speak, but backed further into the darkness in protest.

Maria sighed slightly, racking her brain for any possible solution and quick; there was something very unsettling about having a murderous alien under your bed, especially one who has the occasional tendency to make a play for world domination, even in his current infant-state she preferred to have him where she could see him.

"If you come out and get cleaned up Loki then I'll let you play with iPod again later." It wasn't the best deal she'd ever come up with but Loki shuffled slightly in his spot, as if thinking it over before finally wriggling out into the open. He stared at her and nodded once, his way of accepting her offer. Though his adult form may claim to hate all things Midgardian his child self, seemed incredibly eager to learn everything he possibly could about the planet and everything that went with it, she'd seen him eyeing up all of the books in Tony's vast private library, she'd have to ask Pepper if any were suitable for children, though somehow she doubted it. It was Tony, after all.

**So I finally got round to updating, thank you all for your patience; I'll have all of the Mini-Avengers and Master Loki write you all thank you cards. Hopefully it won't take as long for me to update next time but I can't be sure, please bear with me. Kind regards, Nell x**


	9. Questions & Answers

Unsurprisingly there weren't any children's books in the library, Maria had asked Pepper whilst they were trying to track Tony down for his bath; he'd legged it at the mere mention of the word. Phil said that he'd get Fury to send some tomorrow, he would have suggested a trip to library but seeing as they were all currently under house arrest this wasn't an option.

The house arrest issue was proving to be a nightmare already, a trip outside for the little buggers would at least tire them out a bit, stop them from vandalising their current living quarters, but until S.H.I.E.L.D. worked out how they were going to break the news to the public, that their city's greatest defence (and enemy) were now reduced to the age of kindergarteners, any interaction between the kids and the outside world was strictly forbidden. 'Easy for Fury to say,' Maria thought bitterly as she battled with Thor, Loki and Steve at bath time, (Steve complained it was too hot, Loki insisted on bubbles and as soon as Thor got in the bath all of the water seemed to get out). He doesn't have to deal with them.'

They were all slightly calmer after their quick baths, though it has to be said, not a whole lot cleaner, that paint was a complete asshole when it came to causing stains. It could go on the banned list along with trips outdoors and foods high in sugar. If the kids weren't careful Lego would go on it too, Maria was fairly certain she'd had some bullet wounds that had given her less grief than treading on a rogue Lego brick.

"So how have they all been then?" Pepper asked, managing to grab the two agents alone once the kids had returned to the living room and their games.

"Childish," came Maria's retort, not missing the opportunity to make use of her sharp wit.

Pepper frowned, not amused.

"They've been fine Pepper," Phil assured her doing his best to not chuckle at the younger agent's comment, "A little restless but fine."

Pepper nodded "And this…state; is it permanent?"

"We don't know, we have experts running tests but it could be a week or two before get the findings in, and several more to find a solution. Until then, it is best we keep them contained, at least until Fury finds a way to break the news to the public."

Pepper nods once more, seemingly understanding. "And what will happen if the world needs them in their absence?"

Maria answers this time, keen to remind the woman that the world can function without the Avengers. "Shield is constantly monitoring potential threats Miss Potts; if any situation arises you can be sure that our agents will handle it. Moreover the Avengers greatest adversary is currently sat in your living quarters helping to build a fort out of cushions; I hardly think he's going to be any great trouble at that size."

Pepper chewed at her lip, unconvinced "And you're sure he doesn't remember anything of his adult life?"

"He doesn't appear to," Phil replied, beginning to stroll down the hall towards the area where the kids were playing, "none of them do, a few familiar traits but other than that a blank slate."

"Is a blank slate good or bad?" Pepper asked, once Phil had disappeared from their sight.

Maria shrugged, "I'm not sure, it is what we make of it I suppose," She smirked slightly at Pepper's confusion. "I think we deserve a drink Miss Potts, don't you?"

**Okay hey, short little filler chapter I know but I just wanted y'all to know that I'm back; FINALLY. Sorry it took so long, but with college and exams and everything else I guess I came to neglect this story. I hope you'll forgive me. However I do have a question for you; seeing as I'm out of practice, to the tune of several months for this story, I was wondering if any of you had any ideas regarding what to put in the next few chapters or so, suggestions would certainly be appreciated. All the best, Eleanor x**


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